There
are many types of demons in our life, not always revealing themselves as from
Satan. Some demons grow from within our hearts, nurtured by our ego and selfish
drive for power and glorification. These particular demons are often the
hardest to remove from our lives simply because we don’t recognize them as
demons nor the struggle they create.
Think
of a time in your life when you worked really diligently toward the completion
of a difficult task. You spent many hours of pondering the perfect solution
calling upon your vast experience. You tested different theories against your
ideas and developed just the right combination of “mind over matter” and
discovered that “you knew the answer all along,” but just had to allow your
brain to do the thinking. Then, once the task was completed successfully, you
sat back and admired your amazing troubleshooting skills. You pat yourself on
the back and toast to your awesomeness. You never even stop to consider that
God “may” have had something to do with your results. It was YOUR idea, it was
YOUR effort, and it was YOUR glory. What does God have to do with your success
anyway?
Just
then is when you SHOULD run to the Church and beg God’s forgiveness for
thinking you were so awesome to begin with. Even if you DID come up with the
idea, wasn’t your intelligence a gift from God in the first place? Even if you
DID dedicate many hours of YOUR time, wasn’t it God that first provided you
with the time to offer to solve the world’s problems in the first place. Even
when others praise you for YOUR effort, wasn’t is really God that inspired you to tackle the task? And doesn’t it annoy you when someone shows up and tries to
burst YOUR bubble by pretending that God had “anything” to do with your
success?
Sometimes the
mere presence of God in our lives, especially when we want to claim credit for
our awesomeness, torments us. That’s because deep in our hearts is we know that
we are God’s children. “For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days,
says the LORD: I will put My
laws in their mind and write them on
their hearts; and I will be
their God, and they shall be My people.” (Hebrews 8.10)
The torment is our heart trying to inspire us to repent from our ego trip and
honor God with our blessings and thank Him for the gifts He has given us.
But these demons
are very strong in our hearts because, as fallen human beings, we are in a
constant struggle to please our ego rather than please the Lord. Saint Paul
characterized it perfectly when he wrote,
For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God -- through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.” (Romans 7.14-25)
It is not impossible to defeat these demons when we embrace the Lord as the
Master.
We should be comforted by the story in this Sunday’s Gospel lesson. (Matthew
8.28-34,9.1) The legion demons could not even enter the swine without God’s
permission. Neither can they control our life if we do not grant them
permission. Our task, the REAL task, it to come to the Lord and He will drive
the demons out of our hearts making room for His love and grace, IF we desire
it. Too often we respond to God with the same words as the demons, “What
have you to do with us, O Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before
the time?”
(Matthew 8.29)
The next time
you find yourself wondering why giving God credit for YOUR awesomeness feels
like torment, consider the demons are working hard to keep you away from His
grace and love. Bring yourself to the Church and invite God to remove these
demon thoughts from your heart. THEN replace them with God’s love and grace.
Otherwise, remember what the demons did to the swine, “And suddenly the whole herd of swine ran violently down the steep
place into the sea, and perished in the water.” (Matthew 8.32) If you don’t
get them out of your heart you will find yourself running wild off a spiritual
cliff.
Of course there
will always be someone who would rather you run off a cliff, not because of
you, but because they can’t stand giving God credit in their lives either. “And behold, the whole city came out to meet
Jesus. And when they saw Him, they begged Him to depart from their region.”
(Matthew 8.34)
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